Toxicology
by Strange and Intoxicating -rsa
Summary: Reno and Yuffie sit down and have a drink. One with a gun and poison. Reno/Yuffie /Giftfic for Pen/


Toxicology

By: Strange and Intoxicating -rsa-

Author Notes: The first and probably only heterosexual story you will ever catch me writing. And it's a gift fic for Pen Against Sword. I promised, and I don't break my word. And, when I'm done with this I think I'll go boil my hands in oil.

Dedication: To Pen Against Sword, for all of the help and random conversations at two in the morning. And Nakastu Shuichi, of course.

Disclaimer: I, Strange and Intoxicating -rsa-, do not own, think I own, or will ever own Final Fantasy VII or its Compilations. I write this because... well, not for fun, but to say I can do it!

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Toxicology

"I could blow your brains out and not even blink."

"No, you couldn't."

The bar was one of the many Edge had to offer; it reeked with smells of cheap liquor, half-burned garbage and urine. The reminiscence of times long ago, back when Midgar was more than a broken pile of rubble, not surrounded by hopeful citizens. Midgar was a dump then, but at least its bars were never affected.

Two people sat in a corner of the room of the nameless, run-down joint. Two glasses were on the table, one half-filled and the other empty, a few brown droplets running down the side. An assortment of other items rested next to the liquor bottle (which had already been paid for, because then there wouldn't be anyone coming over to bother them if they needed more liquor): two knives, six materia, eleven bullets and a vial of clear liquid.

Reno lifted the gun to the side of Yuffie's head. "I bought you the drink you wanted. Now explain why you've been following me." He grabbed the bottle with his unoccupied hand, pouring an entire glass. "Don't even try ta tell me different. This is the sixth bar this week that you've followed me into an' ta be frank, I don't like you butting into my life."

Yuffie took a calm sip from her glass, unperturbed by the barrel of the gun still against her temple. "Are ya gunna put that thing down, like, ever? Because it's just getting in the way. And drawing attention." She shrugged her shoulder in the direction of the people who were staring at their table. No one, not even the management said anything. "It's your suit. Can't you dress down, like any other human being?"

"No." Reno chugged half of the glass. "Not 'til you explain why you've been followin' me around. There isn't a fucking place I can go without seeing your face staring at me through the window. Everywhere—it's like you've been haunting the shitty parts of Edge looking for me."

"Don't flatter yourself, Turkie. Did you ever think that maybe I just wanted to have a drink and a chat? I'm totally not obsessed with you, if that's what you're thinking. And that gun is starting to make my head itch. Put it down already."

Reno huffed and slowly removed the gun from the girl' temple. "I was drunk, you were drunk, and there was a bed. Don't blame me for your actions. And if this is about you suddenly falling in love with me, I'll have to say that you aren't the first. Not to ruin your illusions of grandeur, I was horny, you were there, and it wasn't love. I'm a prick; it's in my nature. Now go home, kiddie princess. Your daddy may not be here, but I'm sure your friends are wondering where you are. Can't be out too late, right?"

Yuffie snorted and reached out for the bottle, but only managed to dump the rest of it out across the table. Quickly, too quickly for a drunken teenager, the red-head thought as he grabbed his gun and stood, Yuffie snatched all of the objects off the table, shoving them into her pockets. Reno went to grab the girl's arm only to kneel down a moment later, clutching his stomach, swearing in pain.

"What'cha do ta me?" Reno grunted, his hands, one still clutching the gun, slamming into the table so he could pull himself up. When he stood wobbly to his feet, he saw the dark black smudges on the table. Berries. Wutaian berries, from their color and the odor that they were giving off. Even Reno, half-drunk, could sense it. "You poisoned me."

The Wutaian girl lifted the small vial of clear liquid up, jingling it like a prize. "Yep, and it was the most fun thing I've done in like, forever. It gets so boring living life without a little adventure or a little poisoning, right? And it isn't like I want you to die."

"You gave me Wutaian berries. Fuckin' poisonous, enough to kill an army of Shinra if you aren't Wutaian descent. They feed you that shit in the bottle as a baby, don't they?" Reno swore, banged his hand on the berry and liquor-soaked table.

"Yeppers, Turkie-boy. But like I said, I don't wanna kill you. Why would I want to? You keep saying that you're dangerous, that I mean nothing and yada, yada, yada. Blah, blah, blah. But I'm dangerous, too. I'm a ninja, you're a Turk. And you like me an' my spunk and I like you. So," she leaned forward and wiggled the bottle in front of Reno's green eyes. "We both hold the gun. But we don't need to shoot."

The Turk let his eyes trace over Yuffie's face before grabbing the small clear bottle and removing the small cork. "How do you expect me to drink this when it'll—" Reno stopped and dropped his gun. The people nearby were slowly moving away, he noticed out of the corner of his eye.

"You've got about a minute to choose before I shove it down your throat myself."

"I'm a bad person, kid. Don't think a little poison and a kiss'll make me any different. I kill," Reno panted an coughed, "I kill for a living. I might even have to kill you. I'm still Shinra, and you're still Wutaian. A Princess, at that."

Yuffie plucked the gun from the floor in a movement too quick for Reno to see, as his vision was already becoming blurred. She held it against his temple, identical to the position he has held her in. "You might be a bad person, but I'm not innocent. I get it; you kill people. I've killed people. You've stolen, I've stolen. You've been paid to do bad things," Yuffie said as she leaned forward, letting her lips ghost over Reno's, "and I have, too. Now, let's not die? I'm nineteen—I don't want to become a widow at that age."

"We aren't mawwieds," Reno slurred and his fingers were slowly losing the bottle.

"Hey, don't dig on your soon-to-be wifey. Not like I'm giving you any choice, really. I mean, what'll daddy, Cloud and the others say if they find out that you decided not to marry the poor, innocent little virgin you totally screwed. I mean, what would Vincent think, eh?"

"Tell meh tuh get ridda yuh," Reno mumbled.

"Phhft. Whatever. Now drink up, Turkie."

The liquid filled his mouth and he resisted the urge to spit it back out, only because Yuffie grabbed his by the hair with her free hand, slamming their lips together. Sneaky little ninja. After each drop of the burning anti-poison made its way down his throat the girl pulled away, a mischievous smile slipping onto her lips. She fumbled for a moment in one of her pockets and pulled out a pack of cigarettes, slipping them into Reno's hand.

"Mind removin' the gun from my head?" the Turk questioned, his head still pounding in pain. Fucking poisons. He wasn't going to buy the little ninja brat a drink ever again.

"Bam. I win." Yuffie placed the gun on the table.

Reno rubbed his head. "Whatever. Don't expect me ta change. 'Cause I'm not. I ever get the order to kill you and I'll do it without blinking."

The bar was silent. "We already know I'll do the same thing, Reno. Until then..." Yuffie grabbed Reno's hand, laughing as she pulled the still semi-dazed Turk from the bar, leaving behind the smell of urine and garbage and cheap liquor.

The gun and Wutaian berries were left behind.

The bullet chamber was empty.

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**There. It's done. And now, I think I'm going to go write smut to fill my brain with slash again. **

**  
Please Review!**


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